Hundred Shades of Heartbreaks.

Heart breaks are a fact of life and we must learn to deal with them. It is easy to give your heart, but difficult to console the grieving when you are heart broken. The success of “ Fifty shades of Grey”and the older classics of its genre by Tolstoy and Sylvia Plath to Coelho and Fanny Hill or the Marquis de Sade and Jane Austen, says that romance is one of love’s greatest attractions. Romantic novels confront us with a mysterious allure, which suggests more than it says in the pages. Many after reading romantic novels develop crushes for tall, dark and handsome men – most of who do not reciprocate the same depth of emotions. These novels offer an unique approach to love, by trying to educate and doling out advice on the various aspects including the dangers of falling in love. Some of them state that love is not the panacea for all the ills in our lives, it also gives lessons that ask you not to waste time waiting for a man or woman who is not interested in you and for women to avoid the restless philandering types. In real life you learn the hard way and bitter experience in hindsight teaches you that you never fell in love with the guy or gal who really loved you. Pining for someone who is unattainable or believing that your Karma or destiny can bring back the lover into your fold always leads to grief. The main threats to love are jealousy which is an indication of your feelings of possessiveness and insecurity in the relationship with your partner. Other glitches in the form your man’s obsession with his mother or a fatal but fleeting attraction to another woman - can unexpectedly lead to major tussles and sometimes you find yourself abandoned in the process. That real love is beyond the carnal pleasures of the body is a fascinating premise, but the meaning or its value is always lurking below the surface- and not discernible when you are tightly bound in each others arms. Without pleasure there is no understanding of love. You cannot always judge a person during the initial courtship or dating period, as it is only a spur to pleasure at that point of time. Couples need a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationships before committing to each other. There are no road maps or paths neither can the romantic novels be your guide, romance can be a fascinating, sordid or tragic journey. It is like a nice meal but at the same time a recipe for disaster. It is difficult for everyone to understand and accept your point of view always. Commitment is a stumbling block … but that is the main attraction in love, especially for women who can end up as trophy wives to rich and powerful men and lead an unsatisfying and miserable existence when the sheen wears off the ring. Simply enjoy the romance while it lasts, living happily ever after is after all a romantic storybook ending. –Vinay