Sunday, September 4, 2011

Sex , love and fidelity

The negative approach we were raised with says: “Don’t do it! It’s nasty, it’s sinful, it’s disgusting”. The sexual liberation movement of the ’60s said, “It’s harmless, fun, and good for you”. This is much healthier than the negative approach because it promotes self-acceptance, but doesn’t completely heal the split between sex and spirit. The reunion of sex and spirit comes about when we go one step further by saying, “Sex is sacred, it’s powerful, it’s lasting, and we should approach it with love, with reverence, and with caring
Our social fabric and our spiritual understanding are unraveling because we have through 2,000 years of teaching that sex is sinful and good girls don’t do it, all but destroyed this powerful force whose purpose is to link us together. Physical intimacy is for bonding; it is for communing with spirit and with each other and sensing our place in the whole of creation. Physical union, sometimes in a ritual context, is meant to bond society together. It becomes a divisive force only when we impose artificial limits on its expression, particularly for women, and turn sex into a scarce commodity.
The view that we need a little less fidelity in marriages is dangerous for advocates to hold. It feeds into the stereotype of men as compulsively promiscuous, and it gives ammunition to all the forces, religious and otherwise, who say that families will never be real families and that we had better stop them before they ruin what is left of marriage. But a more flexible attitude within marriage may be just what the straight community needs. Treating monogamy, rather than honesty or joy or humor, as the main indicator of a successful marriage gives people unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners. And that, destroys more families than it saves.

No comments:

Post a Comment