THE HYPOCRATIC OATH!

Medical breakthrough!, Laparoscopic surgery for hernia, new hormone suppressing drug, cellular pathway to trigger, immune responses. Advances in Science and Technology are they mere semantics? Recently, a baby had swellings, was rushed to a clinic. Doctors treated her for 3 days and when the ailment did not subside gave her a huge bill that eroded her parents’ 6 months salary and then asked them to admit her in a fancy City hospital. More tests, reports, heavy hospital charges, poor parents’ one-year salary and earnings down the drain. Finally the child dies; health care has become prohibitive in big cities.

In my youth when I had rashes and puffed up eyes, our family Doctor an L.M.P. would say it was allergy due to eating raw mango and suggest rubbing calamine lotion and Waterbury’s tonic. Today for the same symptom you will have to consult, a child specialist, who will ask for a blood test, urine and stool test, consult a second opinion, one more blood picture, then finally prescribe antibiotics that will ensure that patient is weak for two weeks and then slap a bill of Rs.15, 000/- so that you have a nervous breakdown.

Last week I read that a lady had delivered a baby in the crowded suburban train, with all commuters helping her. My mother delivered five healthy babies with only the mid-wife in attendance. However, every one out of two deliveries, in any standard nursing home is a Cesarean with a hefty bill of Rs1.50,000/- plus hospital charges, charges for medicine, an expensive way to bring in a new offspring, not forgetting all the monthly visits, blood tests, CAT scans MRI’s et alii! Now we know why those Doctors and Surgeons wear masks.

Recently one of my technicians was involved in a motorcycle accident, multiple fracture, an operation, fancy inserts (Titanium) a bill of Rs.1,67, 000/- with no medical insurance his one year income will go in settling the bill. I too had mo-bike accidents, to be specific seven in two years, but was usually in plaster or cast for two weeks and was as fit as a fiddle.

A friend of mine, who made his nest egg in the Gulf, took VRS and was happily sitting at home for the past seven years. Suddenly last week he complained of a slight chest pain, and was rushed to a clinic. They slammed him into an I.C.U. for ten days, ran all sorts of tests ECG, Treadmill, Holter and then diagnosed that it was a mild stroke, then they presented him with a bill of Rs.1,88,000/- poor fellow almost choked and had a real stroke!

Even Dentists have learned the ropes, it is no longer filling a decayed tooth, caries or extraction, it is now called a “Root Canal Extraction” and cosmetic orthodontists thrown in, will cost you as much as it would to build a small canal.

Today even the mildest of fever is treated like a 9/11 terrorist attack, all sorts of tests, screening, reports, to ensure that you will worry and finally, when you ask him for the diagnosis of the ailment? You get a profound statement. “Virus or viral fever. Isn’t that the same disease that affects computers? All specialists in leading hospitals are set billing targets for every month which are between 10 to 20 Crores and also instructed to ensure that patients are forced to other departments for lab investigations or cross referencing which is the medical jargon used to fool patients. PET-CT is recommended as it is three times more expensive than the normal CT scan. These tests often benefit the hospital rather than the patient. Recently some software professional who is the new target profile groups went to a corporate hospital complaining of severe throat pain. After a battery of tests to rule out cancer, tuberculosis, cervical spondylitis, and laryngitis it was diagnosed as tonsillitis and the bill only Rs. 35000.00. Patients are first asked whether they are insured before they are asked about the ailment or affliction.

For anyone: over 35 years, consult a Doctor at your own peril! A visit to any clinic will ensure that they run a battery of tests ranging from HbAIC, CAT scan, MRI’s, Holters to Biopsy costing between 25,000 to 40,000/- depending on which part of Bombay you hail from. The final diagnosis, “stress” which can affect your heart, liver, kidneys and other critical organs. A lot of antibiotics will be prescribed with weekly visits for the Doctor’s consulting fee to be collected. In the good old days the family physician would give you a bottle of pink colored liquid, and some white powder in a sachet, he would also be embarrassed if you tried to slip a fiver down his hand. Today the same symptom is a sign of stress, for which no satisfactory treatment has been found for under Rs.25, 000/- and it is called a life style disease. Only the affluent get this designer label.

Other esoteric diseases that Doctors love are Osteoporosis, Arthritis, and for senior citizens special ones like Hernia, enlarged prostrate glands etc. No Doctor is clear as to the function of the prostate gland; it seems to have been designed to fatten the Doctor’s wallet bye pass surgeries are as common as the cold.

The new flavor or trend is to have Hospitals vying with 5 Star Hotels for ambience, and the idea is to attract a new breed called the Medical Tourist. What happens to genuine healthcare and the terminally ill? Who cares! The idea is to have a Menu of tests with exotic names, hire nurses and Para-medicals who cannot differentiate an artery from a vein, and round it up with a bloated bill, so that client feels assured that since he’s paid through his nose the cure has saved his life. When politicians are busy changing names of streets and cities, I think we should consider renaming the I.C.M. R. (Indian Council of Medical Research) to the Indian Council of Mayhem and Rogues. Meanwhile, more power to the “Men in White” who discharge you after repairing your functional organs but ensure that you are neck deep in debt for the rest of your limited life. Now I know why my grandfather and other rural who had no access to super speciality hospitals or medical testing facilities lived a very healthy life till a ripe old age.