When we try to change or control others, this behavior almost always creates conflict and resentment, resulting in the loss of intimacy. And the fact that our intentions may be good doesn’t really matter.
For example, when we try to control a loved one by giving unsolicited advice and opinions or making unreasonable demands, it only pushes them away. Who likes being told how to be and act in matters of the heart?
When we accept people as they are instead of trying to change them, we make them feel at ease and comfortable with us. They feel that they can trust us.
My best friendships are ones in which we accept one another fully, blemishes and all. That allows us to be open and intimate without fear of criticism or judgment.
The same is true with respect to our loved ones. When we accept them as they are, we allow the love currents to unfold naturally so that they can just relax and be themselves, offering their love and kindness without pressure or expectations.
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