This seems to be a universal topic as everyone keeps asking “what is conditional love”? Is arranged marriage better than love marriage? I can’t get over my love etc. Love is like a dew drop that caresses you from every angle giving you a sort adrenaline high of your senses as though drunk on wine, till it begins to wilt and wane under the constant glare of life’s harsh sunlight of reality.
It is difficult to explain love since it is not a dogma which can be taught by religions , nor by intellectual or philosophical discussion at any level or platform. There can be no profound explanation or declaration, it is known to only those who experience it and there are no guidelines. Love has no meaning by itself, but it definitely gives meaning to your life.
There are things you will know, things you won’t know, nothing you shouldn’t know and existential things which you experience. A lot of theories abound about surrender of self, possession and dissolving of ego - all semantics, no need to submit or surrender or be unconditional or conditional, just love itself will reveal the truth. Love is an obsessive state of mind where even the anticipation of a lover or rendezvous or whisper can send a shiver down your spine, a feeling of sweetness and excitement as delights unfold every moment. Here lust, sexual, attraction and all your tactile senses fuel the restless excitement. None of these can be explained by poetry, verse or discussion, in fact the more you learn about love the less you will know. Love cannot be copied from movies, depicted on celluloid or written in verse. At best it can titillate you, seduce you, but real knowledge of anything existential can only come with real experience of knowing it. It is like teetering on the edge of a precipice and you can fall and the risk is always hovering over you, as you pirouette in your love dance.
When you enter love you know nothing about it, a sort of unknown darkness- that is why sometimes it is termed, that love is blind, as you grope your way without a clue. Only your inner light can show you the way and many a time you fall in love and end up in a ditch or being ditched!
Love is complex though it looks simple, it has many hidden facets, pitfalls, dangers and dimensions. It is composite with many nuances that require deep insight to really conquer it. Attraction to obsession, from seduction to being besotted, finally, ending in romance and emotional bonding. It takes twists and turns and many paths. Obsessive love is like a disease (OCD), not sleeping, not eating thinking only of the lover, with the body releasing endorphins or chemicals but this cant lost forever. This phase has to end and then comes the more realistic stage when the chemistry has fizzled out; romance waning, emotional bonding can create a deeper mature relationship- which is tenuous and may not withstand the vicissitudes of harsh reality.
The fun is over and the harsh reality of life starts, this is when relationships drift because a mature and deeper love has no thrills and peaks and is downright boring. May be one should have multiple affairs to learn what real love is all about and get over lust and sexual attraction, which is the bane of a settled life, and the focus has to shift to other aspects of life apart from romance.
To get to this stage one must experience much love and as many as possible- live a dangerous life, feel the pain of dejection, sorrow and taste all the flavors, sweet bitter and pungent. Then you can really know the deep secrets of love and with your eyes shut, understand the true reality and meaning. You then elevate yourself to another plane as a connoisseur who has understood the nuances and subtle flavors, explored every crevice and comprehends, the art of loving and the language of the heart.
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