Less fidelity

The view that we need a little less fidelity in marriages is dangerous for advocates to hold. It feeds into the stereotype of men as compulsively promiscuous, and it gives ammunition to all the forces, religious and otherwise, who say that families will never be real families and that we had better stop them before they ruin what is left of marriage. But a more flexible attitude within marriage may be just what the straight community needs. Treating monogamy, rather than honesty or joy or humor, as the main indicator of a successful marriage gives people unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners. And that, destroys more families than it saves.