Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Mental Exile and a Partial Recall.

We are all prone to have reminiscences where certain incidents in our past stand out starkly amongst our youthful memory blocks. These memories are rather real, universal in a sense even though time has wrapped them in sepia tints textures. Memory isn’t a dream, it’s part of our past human experience which sometimes embraces us like a passing cloud. During my youth while growing into adolescence, I used to be very nervous before I made love– but when it was actually happening I enjoyed it. After the act was over I would almost collapse and feel a wee bit disappointed and wonder what happened. I had thought it would be more exotic ….. I felt let down. There was a mellow, elegiac quality in the life of the sixties and seventies – a period that has since been forgotten. People were always trying to find hidden meanings in their lives and would prod me to seek answers. If one finds out the meanings they would not be mysterious anymore. Ah! The sweet mystery of life. People try hard to find answers – even religion cannot answer these questions. Life itself is unstable and by its very nature mysterious. I am very happy with the way things are and do not want to find answers. It is more alluring and delicious that everything remains clouded in a cloak of intrigue. Who am I? Why am I here? What is my real purpose? Salvation/ redemption, how do we translate this into our daily experience? In the next world you will be on your own. –Vinay-

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